The Drug Free Assembly

When I pulled up to the school yesterday to do my weekly Wednesday folder duty, I noticed a man leaving the school carrying all sorts of boxes and a pet carrier. Did I mention the man had on a vest made out of various colored star fabrics? Yep, a magician. I've always placed magicians in the same category as clowns; they both dress bad, are creepy, and they are a little too closely related to Satan for my tastes.
When the kids got home that afternoon, Ty told me that they had a magician come for an assembly, and he did cool tricks and talked about why the kids shouldn't do drugs. Later on, I asked Izzi if she liked the magician that was at the assembly. She informed me that there wasn't a magician, just a guy that did magic tricks. I asked her if he talked about drugs, and she got a puzzled look on her face and said "No, but he had a cute bunny." Jack waited to tell us about the assembly till he was laying in bed with Dave and I that night (he was cold). He started of by saying that the musician at the assembly did cool tricks, and he had a little statiue (spelling intended, that's how he says statue) and that the statiue found a joint...he paused here to make sure I knew what a joint was. When neither Dave or I could respond properly because of the giggles we were suppressing, Jack continued triumphantly "It's marijuana. And if you smoke it, you'll be stupid". He lost me after that point, the bed was shaking too hard from our laughter and I couldn't really understand what he was saying except that if you smoke pot, you head will turn into a balloon with a mean face on it, and the balloon will pop from all the drugs you do, because that's what happened to the statiue.
Thanks Mr. Magician. I'm sure at least one of my children will remain drug-free because of your presentation.